Mistakes are a part of our lives. Human beings will make mistakes. That is just a fact that one has to live with. How we deal with the mistakes we make can be healthy or unhealthy. It is important to deal with our mistakes in a healthy way, to avoid sadness, regret and even misery.
1. Remind Yourself That Mistakes Are a Part of Being Human
So how does one deal with a mistake in a healthy way? First, it is important to remind oneself that mistakes are to be expected. No one glides through life without making mistakes. By reminding ourselves of the reality of mistakes in one’s life, we are discouraging the unhealthy practice of self-blame. We should not blame ourselves even if we are the ones who made the mistake. Why? Because we are human. And mistakes come along with being a human being. There is no way to avoid making mistakes. Mistakes will happen. It is part of the human condition.
2. Try to Learn From Your Mistakes
Another healthy way to deal with one’s mistakes is to try to learn from them. Is there some lesson you can extract from the situation? As they say, no good lesson is easily learned. Life is full of learning experiences. And sometimes we have to make a mistake in order to learn something and to grow in a certain area. Like a child learning to walk, we stumble along the way as we progress through our lives. That is okay. It is a necessary part of the learning process.
3. Practice Forgiveness
Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. Harboring anger against oneself is unhealthy. It festers, and comes out again at an inopportune moment, like when we are already feeling down in the dumps. Add to that unresolved anger toward ourselves, and we could be heading to an emotional breakdown. Forgiveness takes effort. It can take time too. Try to think of yourself as a friend. Would you forgive your friend if they had made the mistake you made? Chances are, you would understand that your friend is human, and mistakes come with the territory. Well, the next time you make a mistake, try pulling out that same understanding you would for a friend. And the next time you rehash an old mistake, focus on showing yourself the same understanding you would a friend. Forgive yourself and release the anger. You will feel much better then.
4. Move On From Past Mistakes
Mistakes can turn over again and again in our minds, reminding us again and again of our disappointment. It is important to practice moving on from one’s mistakes. Churning in one’s mind about a mistake, how it could have happened and the details of it, is a natural response to making a mistake. But there comes a time when this needs to stop. It is unproductive and unhealthy to continuously ruminate about one’s mistake. If you find yourself ruminating about a mistake, tell yourself that you have analyzed the situation already, and there is no point in analyzing it over and over again. Try to distract yourself with something else, like music or reading. Meditation can also be helpful. Breathing deeply, counting to ten, and repeating a mantra to yourself all can bring you relief from the rumination.
5. Drop the Perfectionism
Being a perfectionist can make making mistakes quite painful. As perfectionists, we harbor an unrealistic expectation that we can go about our days mistake-free. We feel that we should not make mistakes, and when we do, because we most assuredly will, it can be extremely difficult to grapple with. The problem is the perfectionism. Perfectionism is not a good thing. It creates unrealistic expectations and stress for us. Perfection is largely impossible in the real world. We need to remind ourselves of this reality, and drop the perfectionism. It is unhealthy and spurs negative thinking, like self-blame when things go wrong. Remember, mistakes are part of being human, but perfection is not.
6. Remind Yourself We All Make Mistakes
Realize everyone makes mistakes. We are not unique in this way. Human beings will make mistakes; it is part of the human condition. At times when we make a mistake, we can feel isolated and alone. We can feel like this sort of thing happens to us, but not to others. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Realizing that other people grapple with their mistakes, just as we are, can make us feel less alone in the process.
7. Focus On Solutions
It is best to be solution-oriented, rather than dwelling on past mistakes. Going over a mistake in your mind over and over again is a fruitless endeavor. It will not get you anywhere but feeling down. And it will not help to solve any problems caused by your mistake. Instead of focusing on the mistake, you can improve your situation by focusing on solutions. Being solution-oriented means that you think about ways to potentially mend issues that you are facing, rather than focusing on rehashing the issues themselves. Becoming solution-oriented takes discipline and practice. The first step is to catch oneself when one is ruminating about a mistake. It can help to take an action once you have caught yourself doing this, like clapping or pinching yourself. This breaks up the rumination and serves to remind you that what you are doing is the wrong approach. Once you have caught yourself focusing on the mistake itself, turn your attention instead to trying to think of potential solutions to the problem. Even a partial solution can be helpful. It does not have to be a perfect fix, which may not be possible. But ask yourself how can you better the situation you are faced with now.
8. Realize With More Actions Come More Potential for Mistakes
Reassess the feeling that you are making too many mistakes. Some of us can deal with a mistake, if they are infrequent. But the more mistakes we make, the more frustrated and upset we can become. We feel our mistakes should be infrequent and that we are making them too frequently. We may find ourselves thinking that it seems we move from one mistake to another. But remember, mistakes are a part of life. And actions we take are breeding grounds for mistakes. The more actions we take, the more mistakes we may make. So making more mistakes can be an indication that you are taking more actions, which is a good thing. So don’t tally your mistakes and feel as though you have crossed some threshold of an acceptable number of mistakes. Because the more you do, the more mistakes you may make. This is not a bad thing.
9. Don’t Let Fear of Mistakes Stop You
Do not let fear of making a mistake stop you. If we become afraid of making a mistake, this can lead us to a reluctance to take action. We are so caught up in our idea that we should be able to accomplish tasks perfectly, that we subconsciously look to minimize our chances of making mistakes by minimizing our actions. We might also specifically try to avoid doing things that are new to us, for fear of making a mistake. This fear of mistakes does us no good. Instead of being fearful of making mistakes, we need to work on increasing our tolerance of mistakes. We need to remind ourselves that mistakes are a part of being human.
Conclusion
Mistakes will happen to everyone at times. There is no way to avoid all mistakes. But mistakes can offer us an opportunity to learn and to grow. It is important to learn to deal with one’s mistakes in a healthy manner. By following these guidelines, you will be on your way to mastering approaching your mistakes in a constructive light, and in a manner that says that it is okay.
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