Being consumed with envy is not a pleasant way to be. The feeling of envy can come out and grab one, and at the most inopportune time, like when you are struggling with something in your life or dealing with a failure. But what can one do about envy? Can envy be eradicated from your life? Well, maybe not eradicated, but it can be minimally present.
Learning to deal with feelings of envy and to minimize them is important. Envy is not a feeling that buoys up one's inner happiness. In fact, feeling envious can lead to one feeling downright unhappy.
But what can one do about that uncomfortable feeling, that affects all of us at some time or another--envy? Read on to find some healthy ways to deal with the "green-eyed monster."
The first step in dealing with envy is to recognize and admit to oneself that one is feeling envy. Envy can be insidious. We can be full of envy but if we never confront our feelings of envy, they can fester under the radar. It is better to confront the feeling, to pull the envy into the light and dissect it.
One cannot reduce or eliminate one's envy if one does not understand it fully. And that includes trying to understand the root causes of it. For example, I may be envious of a friend who goes on a tropical vacation when I cannot afford to. Part of the root of that envy is my belief that a tropical vacation would be something important for me and beneficial. But is it really important that I go on a tropical vacation? Advertisements are there to entice buyers, and the theme they show regarding tropical vacations is that they are fun and relaxing. But isn't there another way I can have fun and relax, perhaps even one that I do not regularly see advertisements about? For example, taking extra time to visit with a relative could be an alternate source of fun and relaxation for me.
It is important to recognize that feeling envious at times is normal. It is an emotion that at times creeps into everybody's mind. Feeling envious is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens. But envy is not a pleasant emotion. And if one allows themselves to be consumed by envy, it becomes an unhealthy situation.
One way to move away from feeling envious is to focus on not comparing yourself to others. We each have our own lives with our own set of unique circumstances. Comparing oneself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. You are unique. The set of life circumstances and particular challenges you face are unique to you. So comparing yourself to others is just not a fair comparison. If you wish to compare, then compare yourself to yourself in the past. This is a comparison that can help to motivate and create better understanding of one's present. It is not an inherently unfair comparison, as comparing yourself to others is.
It is a good idea in your quest to free yourself from envy to try to replace envious feelings with feelings of gratitude. Whenever the "green-eyed monster" starts to rear its ugly head, think instead about something that you are grateful for. First you will need to catch yourself feeling feelings of envy. You need to recognize that too much envy is not a good thing for your psyche. Then you need to take action to fight these feelings of envy. The action is to immediately think about something that you are grateful for. Over time, this replacement technique should help you to move past your feelings of envy and get to a healthier psychological place.
Ironically, some feelings of envy can be beneficial. Envy can tap into one's competitive nature and spur one on with increased motivation. When we compare ourselves to others, their situation can serve as a goal for us to try to attain. That competitive fire that is unleashed can be a good thing. Motivation is crucial to being able to attain a goal. The problem becomes if the envy becomes too much and causes us to feel bad about ourselves.
Practicing acceptance helps one to minimize their feelings of envy. Life throws challenges our way. That is how life is. It is better to accept that challenges are a part of life, rather than expending one's energy bemoaning that fact. Acceptance of life as it is helps us to find a sense of inner peace. That inner peace acts as a buffer from feelings of envy. If we are at peace with ourselves and our lives, why would we get caught up in envious feelings? Acceptance of reality confers a healthy state of mind on us. So try your best to practice acceptance, and see your envy melt away.
Conclusion:
Envy is a powerful emotion. We all feel envy from time to time. And that is okay. It is a normal part of our existence. Envy can even spur us on to improving our own situation by lighting a competitive fire within us that can motivate us to go after our goals. It is when envy becomes uncomfortable for us and/or consuming that it becomes a problem. It can lead us to feeling bad about ourselves and even sad.
It is important to know how to deal with our feelings of envy, and also how to avoid feeling envious in the first place. Having this skill will prevent an envious feeling from ruining your day. Recognizing feelings of envy and understanding where the envy is coming from is a good first step to dealing with your envy.
Knowing that feeling envious is a normal condition helps to reduce the stress of it. Learning to stop comparing oneself to others is an important way to curb feelings of envy. Practicing replacing feelings of envy with gratitude can make us immune to envy when the "green-eyed monster" strikes.
Channeling our envy to action that betters ourselves is a positive way to deal with envy. Nurturing a feeling of acceptance of life helps us to steer away from envious feelings as well.
Envy does not have to make you feel down. When understood and dealt with, envy is a feeling that does not have to ruin your day and in fact can be a motivator. So follow these tips to dealing with envy and you will develop a healthier relationship with those envious feelings that we all get from time to time.
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